Confessions Of Improvement

Here are the facts:  I have Fibromyalgia. If you want more information on this invisible disease click HERE.  Now that you've done that are you confused?  Yeah, me too.  Never mind, let me summarize.

People who have this disease have pain.  Sometimes this pain is severe, sometimes it's mild. It can be constant or sporadic. It is affected by stress, weather, food, level of physical activity, the color of your eyes and your relationship status.  Maybe those last two aren't true.  But since the long list of risk factors, symptoms and diagnostic accuracy are about as informative and credible as a trivia game launched by Sarah Palin, I thought I might as well throw some of my own theories into the mix.  The pain we feel can be from head to toe.  When my body switches to spoiled brat Fibromyalgia mode I never know what I'm gonna get.  Sometimes it's cramping in my hands which means extra work holding pens or typing.  Other times the hair follicles on my head will ache the way they do after you let down a pony tail you've been rocking for an entire day.  The only differences are there is no pony tail, there is no touching the scalp to relieve it and there is NO hair crease to explain away.  See, not all of the facts are negative.  No joints or muscles are safe from the wrath of Fibro-likes to get fresh with our whole selves- myalgia.

Next we have fatigue.  For the most part I find that if I get 7-8 hours of sleep a night on a consistent basis I can avoid being sucked into the vortex of cockamamy behavior that awaits the sleep-deprived.  Most of you are thinking how this is a fairly solid guideline for human beings and now you're laughing at how stupid I am for trying to act special.  I'm not done yet punks.  Fibromyalgia fatigue leaves your brain foggy and your digestive system volatile.  Your energy levels become enslaved like those ugly plush toys in claw machines.  And the only way to get it back is to earn enough tokens of sleep to go grabbing after what is rightfully yours.  **Side note:  I always thought it would make sense to play a more adult-friendly version of a claw machine.  Picture a magnetic crane in a Lamborghini lot. I know, genius.**  Where was I?  Oh yes, fatigue.  On the list of symptoms I personally experience, fatigue is not exactly a con for me.  I enjoy the health benefits above and beyond avoiding fatigue from getting adequate sleep.  I look at my extra incentive to treat my body well as a positive... most of the time.

I will touch on one more area of Fibromyalgia symptomatology.  I like to refer to this symptom as "turbulent tummy".  Basically, when I don't take very focused care of my diet and avoid my self-identified trigger foods, my insides look like what I imagine the love child of Hades and Cruella Deville to look like.  Just. Plain. Mean. And. Ugly.

Not every partner of Fibromyalgia experiences the same symptoms.  "Partner" you ask?  Well, yes.  I figure we shouldn't give this disease anymore control than it already has.  We are not victims of Fibromyalgia's immature rants and misguided attempts to reclaim a childhood lost in the shuffle of negligent parents.  No, I say we befriend this misunderstood giant and lure it into submission with trickery and non-violence.  For instance, when your back starts looking like bubble wrap from all of those pesky knots don't yell and shout and punch people you love.  Instead, go make an appointment for a massage and show yourself what gorgeous wonders a day at the spa can do for discomfort.  You and I have the power.  Throw away those sugary treats and fill your belly with the cleansing freshness of beautiful fruits and vegetables.  Look forward to your favorite pair of pajamas and soothing music when you go to sleep, preparing for a night of restful defense-building.   Also, let's promise to keep Fibromyalgia in the dark about this shall we?  I have a feeling that once it gets wind that we are treating it like a helpless puppy it could go postal and start giving us symptoms like incurable halitosis.  Thank you for your cooperation.

Fibromyalgia and I are about to celebrate our 8 year anniversary.  Over the years I have tried my hand at several treatment options.  I was 22 years old when I was first diagnosed.  Fibromyalgia was the lucky conclusion after testing negative for Leukemia, Lymes Disease, Mastocytosis, Multiple Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and the common cold.  I was tested for all of these things within weeks of each other and by the end I looked like I was the victim of a severe beat down with all of the bruising all over my body.  I was impressed to find that blood can come out of more than just your arms.  Doctors are such clever people.  Because my first symptoms included an all-over rash I also sport a sexy scar on my stomach where one of those lovely rash spots was taken off to be biopsied.  Actually, I regret that I didn't have them take a larger rash spot.  If bragging rights are earned by scar size, this entire story is not even in the holding cell for back-up party anecdotes.  But who cares about the basically obsolete scar, the rash has more relevance to my story.   When my doctor told me his diagnostically profound conclusion to my problems I felt so dumb.  How was I supposed to explain to my family and friends that all of those things I was experiencing meant I had a disease that only a small percentage of the medical world even acknowledged as a disease with even less of the world population jumping on board to sympathize.  My initial explanations usually came with stutters, apologetic evasiveness and clever distractions such as offering cupcakes or pointing out the cute ant colonies right under our feet.  I learned early on that support from people you trust is crucial to feeling optimistic through illness, even aiding in healing.  I learned this because I felt so unjustified by my invisible disease that I started keeping a lot of my problems to myself.  Not having a healthy and safe outlet was both hindering to my progress toward bettering myself, but it amplified the worst possible symptom of Fibromyalgia, depression.  Through research, time and maturity and increased social awareness I have found myself in a much better place.  If you have Fibromyalgia, I say to you ignore the skeptics (After therapeutically spitting in their drink) and find a place where you will be validated.  These places exist.  Most likely they exist right around you, especially as you find the courage to be open and honest about how your diagnosis makes you feel.

Hmmm... I think it is time to tell you my tricks to a happy and healthy friendship with Fibromyalgia.

#1. Staying active
I know this can be a catch 22 because you're in pain.  I promise that if you set a goal to work through the pain and be consistent, you will see a huge difference in pain reduction and quality of life.  Also, keep your goals simple.  I started out with walking.  Today I box and am now doing one of those intense 90 day exercise programs.  Do I still have bad days?  Absolutely, but they are nothing like at the beginning or when I slack on keeping my body in motion.
#2. Stretching, massages and Chiropractic care
I can't remember why we tend to get more muscle knots, which in turn tend to pull our bones out of place.  Getting frequent massages and finding myself a good Chiropractor has helped keep my body in line.  This reduces stress, increases flexibility and promotes movement.
#3.Talk
I have been blessed with generous family friends who are willing to listen to me complain when I have a bad day.  Sometimes all I need is for someone to listen to me talk about breaking up with Fibromyalgia to help me gain perspective and go back and try again.  Plus, when you talk to people you learn that you have it easy compared to other things going on in the world.
#4. Sleep
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...zzzzzzz....zzzz...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
#5. Eating Fresh
I find that eating fresh foods and limiting my sugar intake and consumption of processed foods not only keeps me looking like a lady, but also helps to keep a lot of my symptoms locked away in a deep dark place where such things need to be kept.
#6. Smiling
It really does work!

My motivation behind this blog post was the realization that I have been slacking in all of the areas that I find are most helpful in staying healthy and pain free.  I now re-dedicate myself to work harder and be more kind to my body.  And, if you are struggling with one of many invisible diseases, chin up and best wishes in finding what helps you beat the beast that is Fibromyalgia.