Dream Big Or...

Agent:  "I understand that you want to become famous."

Dreamer: "Yes, I have been working my entire life to become somebody the world would love."

Agent:  "You're 15."

Dreamer:  "Yes, but I am a mature 15 who has been through a lot and I have a story to tell."

Agent:  "I see.  We have several fame packages to choose from."

Dreamer: "Fame packages?"

Agent: "Yes, it is no longer required for you to survive on talent alone in the world, so we have put together packages that are proven to boost your career in fame.  Take a look!"

Dreamer:  "Perfect.  While I am about 75% confident in my fame-ability, it would be nice to have something more solid to go on."

Agent: "Great. Please review and select from the following..."

Basic

Our basic package is recommended for those who have a natural talent.  If your voice requires no special effects to create the ideal pitch, and you have dance moves that don't need soft lighting for enhancement, or you don't need an acting double to... act for you... this is the plan for you.  We expose you to the world, the rest is up to you.

Classic

With the classic plan you receive exposure to the world through a seemingly candid though completely scripted reality show.  The specifics of the show do not matter.  Once the world has seen your face you are no longer required to posses a talent of any kind.  You can write a book, go on tour with the cast of your show, and potentially be the inspiration to a future Lifetime film.

Advanced

If you are in anyway doubtful of your ability to market yourself based on raw talent, please allow us to recommend the advanced plan.  When the world has been given a taste of your digitized voice, nearly perfect floor routine, or the performance that goes straight to video we move on to phase 2.  After you've signed your book deal the world will have the option of smelling just like you when we launch your personal line of perfumes.  Next, your clothing line is made available wherever booze is sold.  After the hype of your charitable donation to a local animal shelter has died down, the rumor of your brief summer romance with a European model begins.  There will be an emergency 50 remixes of your hit single on back-up, just in case.  Your mother will be sent to prison, and your childhood crush will make a guest appearance on a popular variety show.  The bankruptcy is implemented only after the third marriage.