I Think I Spent My Most Famous Penny

Six years ago Brad Pitt was in a small ice cream shop where he paid cash for his frozen treat. He gave the exact change of $3.73. He paid in three dollar bills, two quarters, two dimes, and three shiny pennies. Four hours later, a man named Cache did not have exact change, and but paid for his dessert with a $5 bill. His change included a bill or two, but most importantly he ended up with one of Brad Pitt's pennies. Cache threw the hunk's coin in his ash tray. Two months later when Cache was stopped at an intersection he was approached by a member of the local fire department asking for donations. Cache rummaged through his car and grabbed a handful of pennies from the ash tray and chucked them into the fireman's boot... you guessed it, Brad's penny made the cut. The fireman took this money to the bank to be deposited into the city's fire fund. Later that same day a customer named Tina cashed her very first paycheck. As a newly employed teenager, Tina took the $215.28 (which included Brad's change) right from the bank to the nearest department store to reward her responsibility with a new purse. She paid with all of the change, plus the necessary bills. Brad's penny went into the register only to be taken right back out and given as change to the next customer, Tyson. Tyson hated being weighed down by change, so he threw his hand full of pennies into the grateful hands of a homeless man on the corner looking for any help he could get. This homeless man, known as Soul, spent the Hollywood coin at a local gas station while paying for some items. A few days later, a tourist received the penny after checking out and brought that penny to her car and kept on her way. Once she had reached her destination she was cleaning out her car and didn't realize when a few coins hit the ground, where they were left. After a rain storm, a few kids playing puddles happened upon the shiny money and put it in their pockets. Little Seth ended up with Brad's penny. Seth brought his new treasure home and put it in his penny bank, where it would stay for eight more years. At graduation, Seth busted open his penny bank and brought it's innards to the bank, where it was counted and deposited into Seth's college fund. It was at that bank where I cashed a refund check from my insurance company and received my payment in bills and coins. Yes, I did in fact acquire Brad Pitt's penny. I went outside and bought a snow cone.


** Disclaimer: It is in fact impossible to trace the famous genealogical travel of your change. Please do not try this process at home, as you run the risk of being arrested for stalking and may have one or more restraining orders against you. In the event that you ignore this warning, this ginger midget reserves the right to not claim you as an acquaintance and does not admit any responsibility in your mental health evaluation. **